Offering Benefit of the Doubt as Default

Life is a lot at the moment. For everyone. 

When interacting with each other, we may be privy to all that is going on in someone’s life, but most likely we are not. It takes a dose of grace to interact with people in this day and age because we forget that life is a lot for each and every one of us in some way, shape, or form. 

Because we are all stretched to our max, instead of extending each other grace or kindness, I’ve observed that interactions between humans are met with frustration for lack of showing up or not appearing to make the same level of effort. We project what we need from the other person without slowing down and communicating about the realities of life and what could or could not be given. This has led to more conflicts than resolutions, resulting in partnerships and friendships torn apart or broken because both individuals were running on empty.

Recently, I’ve seen an increase in businesses touting how they’re aiming to meet customers where they are. It’s made me pause and apply this idea to our personal interactions. 

What if we were to meet each other where we are? Be it our interactions that are personal or business, with a stranger, colleague, or family? When individuals are showing up, do we immediately demand that they show up even more because, in our measurements, it’s not enough? Or is it because it’s not what we need in that moment? 

I think perhaps, as flawed humans, we assume that they are not showing up how we need them to show up to spite us or hurt us. But what if we were to extend them the benefit of the doubt, meet them where they are, and accept that maybe that’s all they have to give in that moment? I am not saying this is the case with every person and every interaction, absolutely not. But what I am asking you is to slow down and appreciate what is in front of you, even if it’s not fully what you need in that moment.

Perhaps let’s exercise appreciation for how the humans in our lives are showing up. Extending them grace and understanding that it may not be how we needed them to show up, but acknowledging that an effort of some kind was made because we matter to them.