The Complexities of Being Confident

Be confident.

The sentence is simple, but the concept is rather complex. This first and possibly most important GSD Factor attribute is composed of three smaller tenets:

• Knowing and embracing your true authentic self
• Using your voice
• Finding your passion and dedication.

Once you identify and embrace all three of these tenets, you can lead by example with assertiveness, giving you a sense of empowerment and boldness. Moreover, your passion and dedication will motivate you to get sh*t done in all areas of your life. You may not have all of these tenets working to their optimum efficiency in your life right now, so let’s look at one way you cultivate and nurture these concepts.

With my coaching clients who want to improve their confidence and assertiveness, I recommend role play, coaching, or even acting classes. When faced with a difficult situation or conversation, role-playing can be an effective way to prepare for every scenario. My mom and dad did it with me all throughout my life, and it has worked. You can do this alone or with your co-workers, friends, or family members. Whatever the circumstance, role-playing allows you to practice the tone, volume, and authority of your voice.

Here are three steps for role-playing:

1. Think about the situation or conversation and write out all of the possible scenarios that could develop, including the opposing side of things. This will give you an opportunity to have a response ready for a variety of comments. You can’t predict the future, but this will bolster your confidence as you prepare for the conversation. You won’t feel like you’re going into the situation blind.
2. Get with a partner or teammate and talk through every scenario you listed. It is helpful to work with a teammate because you will have real-time feedback on the quality and effectiveness of your arguments and comments.
3. In addition to practicing with a partner or teammates, it is also helpful to practice in the mirror. This will make you aware of your body language and facial expressions. If you’re confident in how you look, you’ll be more confident in what you are saying. You would be surprised how helpful this can be.

My business partner and I practice this skill all the time as we prepare for meetings, especially proposals and negotiations. We list as many of the questions we would ask if we were on the other side of the negotiation, do research to answer those questions, and practice how we will respond with each other. We even prepare in this way on written communications, so we know how to respond quickly should there be a counter.

For those of you who aren’t sure who you are or want to uncover your true authentic self, there are amazing resources and tools at your disposal. Find your preference, and start with one resource, one book, one podcast, one webinar. Once you take that first step, the universe will bring you the resources and people you are supposed to meet.

Once we truly know who we are and are embodying personal awareness, our ability to be confident starts to come to life. Take the Be Confident assessment that will provide prescriptive recommendations based on where you want to ignite confidence in your life. Take the assessment now >>